"God is the sum of all patience and the essence of kindly good will.

We please Him most not by frantically trying to make ourselves good,

but by throwing ourselves into His arms with all our imperfections,

and believing that He understands everything and loves us still."

-A. W. Tozer

May thanks

72. First birthday picnics for dear daughters on a sunny, windy May day
73. Husbands who make their daughters laugh
74. Friends who pray for us through tough times
75. Moms who bail us out of tight spots
76. Words to communicate and Emilie soaking it all in
77. Loving God who forgives our sin and gives us a new start each day!
78. Sisterhood online to encourage, remind, and spur on
79. New carpet in our condo stairwell
80. The gift of new life growing in me
81. The outpouring of love to the Chapmans, in the wake of their tragic loss
82. Reminders that life is fragile, and love must be forever
83. Time to relax!
84. Clean dishes in the kitchen
85. Sympathetic doctors who take time to meet my needs
86. Taste and See, by John Piper
87. Simple Sewing book
88. Facebook chat to keep in touch with friend in Spain
89. Musical toys that make Emilie laugh
90. Dinners with old coworkers

71. Pink dogwoods in our neighborhood

61. Gazebos along backyard paths
62. Vintage sewing machine, circa 1972, FREE - on freecycle.org!
63. The gift of art
64. Martha Stewart's Good Things books
65. Fresh green grapes and sweet strawberries
66. Chirping mockingbirds at dusk that remind me of Atticus and Boo Radley
67. Cherry trees in full bloom, of all varieties
68. Allergy medicine to stop the sneezing!
69. Mother who is a phone call away
70. Brother and Sister-in-law who are newly pregnant!

A rainy day thanks

51. An 11 month old who can now walk with her walker!
52. A sunset stroll around the neighborhood with husband, fingers intertwined in the cool April breeze
53. Morning thundershowers that find me huddled under the comforter
54. Extra sleep while husband watches daughter
55. Little stickers from moo.com for thank you notes
56. Psalm 78, which reminds me of your restraint
57. Hazelnut coffee creamer
58. The glorious dishwasher!
59. Quiet sunday mornings with the paper
60. Neighbors who help fix broken towel bars - AMEN!

April 2nd, the second day of sleep training for sleep-deprived Emilie. She did well yesterday, actually; she only woke up 3 times in 10 hours, and for less than 15 minutes each time. Horray. Now if only mommy could sleep. Why can't I sleep? It's 12:35am. I should be exhausted. I asked myself that question, prayed that question for over an hour, tossing and turning. What am I anxious about? Search me, Lord, and show me things I need to give up to you. Help me to trust you...

Today I was acutely aware of my inability to control even the most basic of things: health. And I think it drove me mad. Literally. Emilie's fever and cold and constant dripping nose and vomiting 4 times everywhere including 2 meals - drove me crazy today. I had a huge meltdown, complete with slamming doors and yelling and screaming. Definitely not a proud moment. I am so glad dear husband wasn't home to witness me falling apart. But it happened. What did I learn from it? Well, for one, I know I can't stand being out of control. I can't stand having things not go my way when I spend almost all of my waking hours devoted to making sure things go my way. But that's true for most people, isn't it? Perhaps it's the realization that there is actually very little in this thing called life that we can really control, that leaves us feeling overwhelmed, and leaves us sleepless at 12:35am.

Just as those who have been forgiven much are able to love much, so are those who soak in His grace able to give grace to others, and sometimes more importantly, give grace to ourselves.

So Lord I come, weary, burdened, overwhelmed, and not at all like my Sunday best. But isn't that how You call us to come? In humility, in truth, in brokenness? Let me choose what Mary chose and learn to love to sit at Your feet once again.

*Dairy-Free Vanilla Icing*

Soften 2/3 c. non-dairy margarine.
Add 3 c. powdered sugar (don't need to sift).
Add 2 t. vanilla, and 1-2 T. water as needed for desired consistency.
Beat with hand-held mixer (because the stand mixer bowl is dirty from baking a cake.
But it would work too, I'm sure).

-Taken from Pleasant View Schoolhouse blog

A reminder from literary past...

"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong."

-Laura Ingalls Wilder

Passion week: a thankful heart I bring...

26. King of Kings, yet you came to us in a manger, a baby boy, one day to be hung on a cross
27. Mercy that flows like rivers each day into my life
28. The spring rains that water the earth
29. New yellow buds of forcythia, reminding me of the newness of life
30. Husband who fasts for 3 days, and I reap the blessings
31. Emilie who took her first 3 steps today, cruising
32. Warm chicken soup
33. Reconnecting with old college friends
34. Washing machines and dishwashers
35. Your Word that is living and active, sharper than a double-edged sword
36. My in-laws that will be here in 3 days, mourning the death of grandma Kim
37. Playgroup friends who encourage and give so generously!
38. Beautiful black and white dalmations
39. How You love sinners
40. New music to uplift the weary soul
41. The gift of giving, that keeps giving in return
42. Goodnight Moon from Brittanie
43. Safety and the warm comforts of home
44. The smell of damp earth in early springtime
45. Turbo tax and tax refunds!
46. Mom who babysits on a whim
47. Chewy dark chocolate cookies
48. The sounds of laughter around a table
49. Clean sheets
50. Beautiful photographs!